Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong by Gina Kirkham

Author:Gina Kirkham [Kirkham, Gina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloodhound Books

Two hours later we returned to the station and waited as Harry handed us each a report to be given to our respective Sergeants.

I made a quick detour to trap 3 in the ladies’ loos to have a quick shifty at mine before handing it over. I was quietly confident. After all I’d learnt to conquer the M56 and a general panda beat, what more could they want. I began to read, my lips mouthing each word as my heart sank.

‘Constable Upton drives everywhere at 40 mph, regardless of the dictated speed limit. This would not remain an issue if she were using a road that has this limit in order to reach Sainsbury’s to obtain her weekly shop. I believe she would also achieve a smoother drive if she occasionally selected fourth gear and tempered the need to ‘bounce’ on the clutch. Her parking skills leave a lot to be desired and it might be useful for Constable Upton to know that in the main, most roads have kerbs. There is much room for improvement.”

So, there it was in black and white.

I drive like an OAP, shop at Sainsbury’s and enjoy the occasional bit of kerb crunching. I folded it up, slipped it back into the envelope, waited until the Sarge’s office was empty and discreetly left it on her desk.

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